careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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