It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
