Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
