if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
