I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
