You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
