On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
