well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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