I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize