Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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