Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
