last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
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