let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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