apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
its not stalking. its research.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
