I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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