So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
