I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
