what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
