That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
