try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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