I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
