Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
