Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
