There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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