Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
