So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize