I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
