"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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