Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
