Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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