Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
