I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
