We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
