the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
