You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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