Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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