So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
