True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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