I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Welp...herpes.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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