so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
