ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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