Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
