There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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