I accidentally had phone sex last night
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't deserve a penis
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize