id be glad to
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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