just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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