were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
