i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize