I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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