I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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