At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
