based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
