The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
