You're my little dorito
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
