I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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