i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Shame - the story of my life.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
