you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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