Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
