why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
