That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
