Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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