i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
