My pussy is not your playground.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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