Already got asked if we're dating
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
