I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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