I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
