I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have aggressive nipples.
Pants are for mortals
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
