it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
