i would punch a child for taco bell
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
