Will you blow on my dice?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
