He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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