Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
