He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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