Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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