Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I think my moral compass just broke
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
