I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
